I remember shopping for shoes once and thinking, wow, this is how an autistic must feel.  I was kind've enjoying it though so maybe I was an autistic on low dose ecstasy.  My attention constantly moving from one nice pair of shoe to the next.  I liked being surrounded by nice looking stuff. But it left me confused.  What was the underlying logic that should guide me to the best pair of shoes?  I had and still have no clue.

The practical choice and therefor my most reflexive is the standard black oxford. But the oxfords affiliation with schoolboy drudgery, for me, cripples any element of versatility. To wear oxfords to the pub on a saturday night is to wear a tie to rugby match. Or perhaps my neophyte sense of style is in need of enlightenment. The latter is likely.

Perhaps the loafer could come into contention? Endlessly practical due to ease of entry the loafer for me was the gateway shoe between the sneaker and formal footwear. As a 17 year old I remember putting on my silver buckled, chunk toed windsor smiths on and thinking "see how you like these shoes mr bouncer". Adolescent over reaching aside I'll argue that the loafer can't hit the target on formal or casual dress. Not formal enough to make it to the workplace, to feaux sophisticated to make it to the pub. The search goes on.

Then you’ve got brogues. The oxfords with the ornate pattern of holes along the upper. The brogue is a classic trap for young players. The newb will often make the assumption that the brogues holy flair will overcome the mundanity of the oxford and thus jump the bar into the land of the cool. Sure the brogue can be pulled off, but only by a true master of the fashion game. For most of the freshmen out there the brogue is the equivalent of a spoiler on a Nissan Pulsar. Your still getting around in a piece of shit, you now look like a wanker doing it.

So then I come to the boot. Now I’ll be honest. I don’t really need a boot. I’m not going to secure a beachhead on my commute to work, nor wrangle a calf. But theres something to the masculinity of the boot that my precious ego wants in on. But then this collides into my sense of practicality. After all, what do I need the restrictiveness of a boot for? A tension arises. Do I satisfy an aloof desire to be deemed masculine by those judging me by my footwear? Or do I actually be more masculine and go for the more practical oxford? My practical streak, ironically rooted in masculinity, mocks my ego’s facile need for masculinity.

And so I'm left wondering. Is there not a compromise? Is there not a boot that can double as an oxford? After all the trouser can be cunning ally in obscuring what goes on north of the ankle. But what does that look like? Is my boot suede, is it laced or elastic? Can the boots masculinity cancel out the brogues dandyishness and bring into consideration the versatility that the brogue has to offer? So many questions.

And so I invite you to strap on some shoes (preferably not loafers) as we explore the nuances of the shoe in the land of the long white cloud.